Dear “Intersectional” White Feminist,
You have actively participated in the dismantling of my career, my family’s financial stability and the beloved community of so many. My relationship with you is the most vivid example of the white supremacy embedded in white feminism. You benefited from my brilliance, emotional labor, friendship, compassion and then became “intimidated”, spiteful and victimized when I finally stood up for myself and my community. You made space for the hysteria, mania and White Girl Tears of your colleagues, and chose to be “neutral” when I asked for your help and tried to bring my concerns to your attention. Your type of loyalty and solidarity is the most dangerous kind because its expiration date tends to coincide with the breaking of my shackles. Your type of intersectionality is the most vile, because it only exists at your convenience and comes at the cost of my voice, my wellbeing, my self-esteem and my self-determination.
You likely consider yourself an innocent bystander and have conveniently forgotten that in the presence of injustice, there are NO bystanders. There are only perpetrators and those who resist. There is no middle ground, there is no “fault on all sides”. So, no, I am not interested in a superficial and cordial relationship with you. At this point in my life I only have interest in relationships with people who understand that our survival is inextricably linked, and who will not talk themselves into believing that they haven’t stolen the food from my children’s mouths or roof over their heads when they betrayed every commitment to social justice and equity that they purported to believe in.
If you have made it this far in my letter, perhaps you are a bit better off than I believe. Perhaps next time you are faced with the choice, you will actively use your privilege to dismantle oppression, rather than perpetuate delusions of grandeur and moral supremacy while standing on the neck of a woman of color. Or perhaps not. Either way, our freedom is coming. Either way we will continue to fight, love and rage until we are free. Until our work is valued, our bodies are safe and the future of our children is preserved. As always, below are a couple of resources to support your in your journey of personal and professional growth.
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